The Blade

The sharp edge of the razor cuts my skin easily.
I'm numb to the pain, numb to the blood
to numb to realize whats happening.
One cut follows another, and another
Till I cant stop.
The razor falls from my hand
blood drips down my arm,
tears roll down my face,
What have I done? I think to myself
I've failed. Again
The voices take over of me. They take control of me.
You no longer rule your body.
You no longer own those right.
You will wake up when we say so.
You will sleep when we shut out the lights.
Enjoy your stay cause you cant run away.
Tears stain her face,
heartbreak leaves a scar,
the blade cuts thru her skin,
blood flowing down her wrist,
just wishing,things didn't end this way,
hoping for the best,
but not caring anymore.

Awesome Beauty

When the golden sunset
Sets over the amber hills
And when the moon shines bright
And all the world stands still
There is beauty, awesome beauty
God took the dust and formed a man
He paints each sunrise with His hand
He took all the love within His heart
And gave us beauty from the start
There's beauty, awesome beauty
When the storm clouds come
And thunder rolls
When skies are dark
And it hardens the soul
There's beauty, awesome beauty
God took all the love within His heart
And gave us beauty from the start
There's beauty, awesome beauty
Through every age, there is a call
To admire the creation, He gave it to us all
It is beauty, awesome beauty
See the beauty, hear the call
Enjoy the life He gave us, He gave it to us all
God took the love in His heart
And gave us beauty from the start
There's beauty, awesome beauty

Inside

For the first time in a long time, she broke down into tears.
They were for all the sadness that she kept inside for years.
It started out quiet, then grew till they couldn't stop.
They just kept flowing down her face, salty, wet, and hot.
She was known as unbreakable, but inside she was frail,
and everyday she braved the gossip and let the insults hail.
Her back against the wall with no strength left to fight.
No where left to go, no one to make things right.
Her smile hides her pain as she covers up the fear,
inside her soul she was drowning in all her unshed tears.
She leans up against the bedroom was as her will began to slip,
finally the world goes quiet as the knife begins to slit.
And tomorrow no one will notice the cuts all on her wrists.
They pay her no attention because to them she doesn't exists.

Dark was her journey, not sure what she's worth,
Constant yet silent tears she cried, not sure what could be worse
Here with a world of remorse.
But what is apparent with each slice she make?
Am she closer to freedom or death by mistake?
Long drops the pain, she knows she will be done,
but only when her kingdom comes.
She know that she shouldn't, but these voices just won't stop.
Breathing quickens, eyes cloud, blood rushes quick and hot.
Overcome with the feeling of darkness, overcome with relief,
I put myself together slowly piece by piece.

Things girls like

This ones about what girls would want a guy to do for them. List format! Ready? ......

                                                  GO!!!! hehe :)

1. Make them smile when they're down. Always make them laugh
2. Compliment them. And be specific! (Boys, girls love it when you tell her exactly what you like about her: her hair, her laugh, the way her eyes sparkle when she laughs, stuff like that)
3. Stand up for her. Be protective and possessive (but not so much as your suffocating her. That will just end badly for you)
4. Hug us from behind
5. When she's talking, kiss her.
6. Pick us up and spin us around
7. Sing for us, no matter how bad you think your voice is, we think it's adorable!
8. Dance with us when there isn't any music
9. Give us random flowers or a rose. It makes us feel loved and happy :)
10. Go a little old fashioned: write her letters and notes and put them in her locker or send it to her classroom. I know it might be hard for some guys to actually remember how to write something instead of texting it, but we like it because its more memorable.
11. Whisper in our ears.
12. Never let us win the "I Love You More" game. Some guys think it's stupid, but it's entertaining and it's sweet :)
13. If you can, write her a poem
14. Get her mad then run after her and kiss her and tell her how much you love her.
15. Tell her the little things you notice about her. We get surprised when you notice those things.
16. Surprise her with one of her favorite things
17. Tell her your favorite things about her

   Honestly, I could go on but that would be weird haha. What I find weird is that all the things guys think are stupid and lame, girls LOVE. So guys, swallow your pride and just do it!

What I can't Be

   Yeah so.. I find myself thinking back to 7th and 8th grade.. I was that girl that never had her first kiss, never had a boyfriend. And my friends were all talking about it and I was that girl that would never do anything to hurt him. I would never cheat on him or anything and the thought of having a friend with benefits was icky and in 7th grade the thought of girls being attractive was weird. I never would have even thought I would become who I am.. If someone came up to me when I was like 4 and told me all the things I would have done and things that would have happened, I would have laughed at them or started to cry. I'm always thinking about who I used to be and who I am now. I have a constant feeling of wanting to change things that I can't change and that really is a burden to your life.
 
   Regret for me is my worst enemy. Almost every decision I make I look at what I did wrong rather than what I did right. It's so hard wanting to change your self but you can't. And if you try to look at that as an obstacle in life, you find yourself stuck. You find yourself with no way out.. Sometimes, I don't put on my glasses and look in the mirror. And I like it because I can't see the person in the mirror, that person that, everyday since 1st grade, I've fought against. Everyday, I fight a war against that person and everyday over and over again, they win. That person in the mirror represents everything I will never and cannot be..

The Time

There's a time to rest and a time to run,
   A time to move and a time to be still.
There's a time to laugh and a time to cry,
   A time to win and a time to loose.
There's a time to scream and a time to sob,
   A time to smile and a time to dance.
There's a time to hug and a time to be with others,
   A time to be alone and to be quiet.
There's a time to love and a time to hate,
   A time to party and a time to sleep.
There's a time to be completely yourself,
  And a time to act like everyone else.
There's a time to love others,
   And a time to let yourself be loved.
There's a time to forgive and a time to forget,
   A time to be broken and a time to pick up the pieces.
There's a time to fight for him and a time to let him go,
   A time for absolutely everything and a time for nothing at all.
There's a time to break down and let it all out,
   And a time to pretend like it's all ok.

At First

At first I thought we would be just friends
But little did we know, our friendship would bend
into a love so big for the world to see,
that you and me were ment to be.
Sun or snow, rain or shine,
forever and always, you will be mine.
Mine for me, mine to be,
Mine for all eternity.
All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
for us to be together, ot never be apart.
No one else in the world could compare.
You're perfect and so is the love that we share.
Yes we have our troubles, yes we have our fights,
but what it all comes down to is me wishing you were here tonight.
We have so much more then I thought we ever could.
I promise to give you all I have to give,
I'll  do anything for you as long as I live.
In your eyes, I see out present future, and past,
by the way you look at me now, I know that we will last.
I hope that one day you will come to realize
How perfect you are when seen through my eyes <3