At First

At first I thought we would be just friends
But little did we know, our friendship would bend
into a love so big for the world to see,
that you and me were ment to be.
Sun or snow, rain or shine,
forever and always, you will be mine.
Mine for me, mine to be,
Mine for all eternity.
All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
for us to be together, ot never be apart.
No one else in the world could compare.
You're perfect and so is the love that we share.
Yes we have our troubles, yes we have our fights,
but what it all comes down to is me wishing you were here tonight.
We have so much more then I thought we ever could.
I promise to give you all I have to give,
I'll  do anything for you as long as I live.
In your eyes, I see out present future, and past,
by the way you look at me now, I know that we will last.
I hope that one day you will come to realize
How perfect you are when seen through my eyes <3

Eternally The Night That Will Last Forever

His eyes. Blue as the sea and as beautiful as summer.
His hair. Golden with a tint of the rainbow.
His hands. Course and strong in mine.
His heart. Big as the earth and in time with mine.

   By the fire, you had your arms around me. Your mother said something to your father about their 25 year anniversary coming up. You leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I think we can make it 25 years." My heart skipped a beat then went twice the speed. I smiled up at you and resisted the urge to kiss you in front of everyone. I squeezed you and lay my head on your chest and watched the roaring fire and listened to the beat of your heart.

   In the car, you held me. You whispered to me to never leave you and that I was your world. And I whispered back that I would never leave you. The street lights highlighted your face and made your eyes as bright as the stars that were dancing above us. You held me tighter. I fell asleep and dreamed of us sitting by the fire where we just were, the moment lasting forever.

Crystal Tears

Slick with water, black as smoke.
The pounding rain brings little hope.
Pounding headaches, Thudding heart,
Everything horribly wrong, my world's falling apart.
Weeping soul, shoes slapping the ground,
The world is stopped, silence all around.
The lights flicker off, look behind you, now!
You feel someone's there, but the question is how?
You had run from that place, so far, so fast.
No one would ever follow you. You thought you were alone at last.
But you can hear them, and your heart's beating so loud.
You try to stop the sobbing, you try not to make a sound.
But the crystal tears still brim over your eyes.
You cannot hid them, to long have you lied
You feel them behind you, and the tears fall harder yet.
They spin you around, you see who it is and you hug them around the neck.
And he just holds you and whispers, "It's all gonna be all right."
You know it won't be, but who knows? Maybe you'll finally have a peaceful night.
When you finally stop crying, he hugs you and kisses away your tears.
He looks you in the eye and you see it. The love you've needed for years.
His gentle hands trace your face, every single line.
He gently says, "When tears roll down your face, I swear a part of me dies."
And so you stop those crystal tears from pouring down your face.
Your heart beat returns to normal, his beat matching yours, pace for pace.

Reality

    Just because you're breathing, does it really mean you're living? If you're looking at something, are you really seeing it? If you're hearing something, are you actually believing it, or are you just hearing meaningless words? Is this world real, or is is just a dream and a nightmare that we can't wake from until we.... die?
 
     Nothing will ever truly make sense to me, you, or anyone else until the end. All we know that is certain is that nothing is set in stone because everything is changing. And all those people that say they aren't scared of anything and act fearless are lying to both themselves and those around them. Everyone and everything is scared of something. They always will be; for every second, of very minute, of every day. For the rest of their lives.

     The only good thing about all of this is that no matter how hard we fall or whatever happens in the world, we can always fall back into a familiar place or pattern. Whether it's an actual place or it's just a state of mind, you can always fall back to it no matter whats going wrong or however you feel. Whether it's a friend or a feeling, never let that thing go if it makes you feel safe. If it makes you feel safe, hold on to that illusion as long as you possibly can. Hold on tight, NEVER let it go, and give whoever tries to take it from you bloody hell.

Your Song

1.Stay with me. Baby, stay with me. 

Please dont leave me alone. 

Talk with me. Baby, talk ith me,

tell me all about the unknown. 

I can see you there in the TV light

our hands clasped, you held on tight

your pale blue eyes, on me. 

You look at me then you shut the door

I thought I couldn't love you more, then i did right then

Your head leaned in

C: Well I'm not sure where this is gonna lead 

But as my eyes close, all i see 

is you face, with your eyes closed,

the stars abouve us, next thing i know,

Im holding my breath as your moving in

I feel your hands as they touch my skin.

Your love, you said you wont run, 

So kiss me slowly

2. Walk with me. Baby, walk with me,

to the edge of all the unknown.

I showed you everything that I know,

on that tree, down that road.

The day was long. Your arms were strong.

You were there when I fell apart

you peiced together my broken heart. 

You said you'd never let me go. Ohh..

(C.)

Bridge: Don't run away..

You said youd never leave me.

I cant remember last time i felt this way;

Perfectly happy and o-so-safe.

I love you for all that you are. Mijo you dont have to run.

I promise, I will not go away. 

(C)

I'm not sure where this is gonna go,

but in this moment, all I know 

is your lips, your gaze, oh I'll never forget your love 

I hold me breath as you pull me in

Your lips kiss the scars on my skin.

Don't let go, say you won't run

Just kiss me slowly

An old email I found in my drafts...

   So yeah, this was an old email I found in my drafts I was going to send to my boyfriend. We've been going out for 4 months so far, but he still doesn't do a lot of these. I don't care though. I'm in love with him, even if he isn't completely perfect. :7 Who knows? Maybe he will stumble upon it and take a little hint. Oh look whats at the bottom of the letter..! I mean it though Lqtm :)

   "I hate how insecure I am.. I hate how I can't believe any good thing someone says about me because of my past. People betrayed me and left me alone when I was literally bleeding out, and they laughed at my pain. I hate how when I told you this, and how you said that it was normal. You didn't react to when I told you how broken I was. I know that I over think things but.. I don't know.. There's a lot of things that annoys me about you because you tell me you love me then act as if you don't want to be around me. You say one thing then you act another. When I tell you this you get irritated because you also don't like how I'm insecure.. But I don't like it either.. I don't like being insecure about everything I do.. And most guys tell their girlfriends they're beautiful or comfort them when they tell them sad things or smile when they see them.. You never told me I'm beautiful or comforted me when I told you something that scared me or made me sad or smiled when you saw me.. I want you to be possessive.. I'm YOURS, but you need to act like it. Act like you never want to let me go..

   And today you finally acted like you cared. You took me in your arms and we sat there and I felt a tingle in my stomach. I love you, so so much. I love it when you and I are lying down and cuddling and you whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I love it when you hold me so close and kiss me. I love it when you act like I mean everything to you. I love the way you walk with your hands in your pockets. I love when you smile and laugh. I love when you look at me like you love me. I love your eyes. I love when you sing when you don't think anyone is listening. I love how you hold me close. I love that look you get on your face when you play the piano. I love the feeling of your hands in mine and I love the feeling of your hands touching my bare skin. I love those insanely rare moments when your romantic and possessive/ protective and say exactly what I need to hear, not just saying what you think is right or statistically correct or whatever else. You were my best friend before we started dating. You know I'm a hopeless romantic and I love all that mushy stuff like notes in my locker or a rose or sneaking up on me and putting your arms around my waist. I don't know, make me pissed off at you then run after me and kiss me until I fall in love all over again. 

   And I'm probably never going to send this because I'm too chicken shit but I don't care i just had to write it down so the thoughts didn't suffocate me.. Who knows? Maybe someday you'll read this and actually do some of it.."

What he doesn't know

what happens when everything falls apart?

what happens when the person who matters most to you, just .. leaves?

what happens when you have no one left?

what happens when everything falls apart?

what happens when something so perfect turns out so bad?

what happens when the persons whose opinion matters most , just disappears?

what happens when the only thing you wanna do is cry your eyes out but can't ?

what happens when you love that person so much but they just don't understand how you feel for them?

what happens when you miss this one person so much and can't do anything about it?

I would kill to be with you right now,

I would kill to be in your arms right know,

I would kill for everything to be okay between you & me,

I would kill for you to be here with me forever,

I would kill for this feeling in my heart to go away,

I would kill for you to just tell me that everythings okay,

I would kill just to have you tell me that you love me, one more time ,

I would kill for you to just to comfort me,

all I need, is your arms around me,

all I need, is the feeling of your breath in my ear,

telling me everything's okay and telling me you love me & you'll love me forever .

all I need is for you to comfort me ,

all I need is for you to assure me that everything will be all right ,

all I need is to run away from everything.

but what I need the most, is for me to be with you .

only me & you, against the world ,

baby, I love you,

don't doubt it.

and out of all the people I say it to,

it means the most when I tell you

I love you so much more than youll ever know <3

The Mask

      The Beauty Beneath Mask                  


Let me be hidden beneath this dark veil

Let this long still silence prevail

I was scared, a coward and fool

I should have chosen silence over lies and falsehood

The mask empowered me with security, strength, and spirit

Bold, loud, unafraid. Here I stand, sky's the limit

Let me convey with what was never said

Away from the world, it is here where I bled

I spoke with words that usually went unspoken

My mind recalled back to when I was utterly broken

It was you who reached out your hand, a bright and shining light,
An amazing, shimmering, shining spark, a star in this dark night.

It was a dark and dreary place, that time

Nothing was right and hard was the climb

I was the mascot of a world with many flaws

Insecurities and society chokes me with their claws

For all the imperfections beheld in me

There isn't a thing you haven’t seen

I always need reassurance that you'll always mine

I don’t need another life, just a little more time

All I need is for the world to stay at a distance

So I can hold you, kiss you, love you in this amazing timeless existence

Introduction!!! :D

   Alright, this is a little intro to my blog I suppose. Haha well.. My name is Lexxi Diamond. I live in California but was adopted when I was 2 from South Carolina with my twin brother. I'm 5 foot 6 1/2 with golden brown hair and eyes that change with my mood (green- normal, lighter green- good mood, blue- insanely happy, grey- terrified, nervous, or very pissed off).

   

   I'm a hopeless flirt and sometimes don't even realize I'm doing it, so sorry in advance :/  I'm bi too so I see things from everyones point of view.\ I'm very protective of the people I love, so if you hurt them, it wont end well for you. I love a lot of people, show my affection in a physical way (like hugging or touching and such) and am a complete, total, and hopeless romantic :)

If you want to win my heart, you have to be funny, sweet, kind, smart, romantic, and able to have fun. Doesn't hurt to be a bad boy either ;) Haha I have a kind of querky sense of humor and love awkward people. I can a dork and a weirdo, but when a situation calls for it, I can be deep and give pretty good advice from what I'm told. Whatever you tell me will be kept in complete and total secrecy and I will do my best to help you :)

   This blog is going to have stories about my life, poems, stories, and maybe pictures :) Some my be dark, some my be about love, and others might just be random shit so just bare with me ok? Ok awesome. Haha