An old email I found in my drafts...

   So yeah, this was an old email I found in my drafts I was going to send to my boyfriend. We've been going out for 4 months so far, but he still doesn't do a lot of these. I don't care though. I'm in love with him, even if he isn't completely perfect. :7 Who knows? Maybe he will stumble upon it and take a little hint. Oh look whats at the bottom of the letter..! I mean it though Lqtm :)

   "I hate how insecure I am.. I hate how I can't believe any good thing someone says about me because of my past. People betrayed me and left me alone when I was literally bleeding out, and they laughed at my pain. I hate how when I told you this, and how you said that it was normal. You didn't react to when I told you how broken I was. I know that I over think things but.. I don't know.. There's a lot of things that annoys me about you because you tell me you love me then act as if you don't want to be around me. You say one thing then you act another. When I tell you this you get irritated because you also don't like how I'm insecure.. But I don't like it either.. I don't like being insecure about everything I do.. And most guys tell their girlfriends they're beautiful or comfort them when they tell them sad things or smile when they see them.. You never told me I'm beautiful or comforted me when I told you something that scared me or made me sad or smiled when you saw me.. I want you to be possessive.. I'm YOURS, but you need to act like it. Act like you never want to let me go..

   And today you finally acted like you cared. You took me in your arms and we sat there and I felt a tingle in my stomach. I love you, so so much. I love it when you and I are lying down and cuddling and you whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I love it when you hold me so close and kiss me. I love it when you act like I mean everything to you. I love the way you walk with your hands in your pockets. I love when you smile and laugh. I love when you look at me like you love me. I love your eyes. I love when you sing when you don't think anyone is listening. I love how you hold me close. I love that look you get on your face when you play the piano. I love the feeling of your hands in mine and I love the feeling of your hands touching my bare skin. I love those insanely rare moments when your romantic and possessive/ protective and say exactly what I need to hear, not just saying what you think is right or statistically correct or whatever else. You were my best friend before we started dating. You know I'm a hopeless romantic and I love all that mushy stuff like notes in my locker or a rose or sneaking up on me and putting your arms around my waist. I don't know, make me pissed off at you then run after me and kiss me until I fall in love all over again. 

   And I'm probably never going to send this because I'm too chicken shit but I don't care i just had to write it down so the thoughts didn't suffocate me.. Who knows? Maybe someday you'll read this and actually do some of it.."