Inside

For the first time in a long time, she broke down into tears.
They were for all the sadness that she kept inside for years.
It started out quiet, then grew till they couldn't stop.
They just kept flowing down her face, salty, wet, and hot.
She was known as unbreakable, but inside she was frail,
and everyday she braved the gossip and let the insults hail.
Her back against the wall with no strength left to fight.
No where left to go, no one to make things right.
Her smile hides her pain as she covers up the fear,
inside her soul she was drowning in all her unshed tears.
She leans up against the bedroom was as her will began to slip,
finally the world goes quiet as the knife begins to slit.
And tomorrow no one will notice the cuts all on her wrists.
They pay her no attention because to them she doesn't exists.

Dark was her journey, not sure what she's worth,
Constant yet silent tears she cried, not sure what could be worse
Here with a world of remorse.
But what is apparent with each slice she make?
Am she closer to freedom or death by mistake?
Long drops the pain, she knows she will be done,
but only when her kingdom comes.
She know that she shouldn't, but these voices just won't stop.
Breathing quickens, eyes cloud, blood rushes quick and hot.
Overcome with the feeling of darkness, overcome with relief,
I put myself together slowly piece by piece.

Things girls like

This ones about what girls would want a guy to do for them. List format! Ready? ......

                                                  GO!!!! hehe :)

1. Make them smile when they're down. Always make them laugh
2. Compliment them. And be specific! (Boys, girls love it when you tell her exactly what you like about her: her hair, her laugh, the way her eyes sparkle when she laughs, stuff like that)
3. Stand up for her. Be protective and possessive (but not so much as your suffocating her. That will just end badly for you)
4. Hug us from behind
5. When she's talking, kiss her.
6. Pick us up and spin us around
7. Sing for us, no matter how bad you think your voice is, we think it's adorable!
8. Dance with us when there isn't any music
9. Give us random flowers or a rose. It makes us feel loved and happy :)
10. Go a little old fashioned: write her letters and notes and put them in her locker or send it to her classroom. I know it might be hard for some guys to actually remember how to write something instead of texting it, but we like it because its more memorable.
11. Whisper in our ears.
12. Never let us win the "I Love You More" game. Some guys think it's stupid, but it's entertaining and it's sweet :)
13. If you can, write her a poem
14. Get her mad then run after her and kiss her and tell her how much you love her.
15. Tell her the little things you notice about her. We get surprised when you notice those things.
16. Surprise her with one of her favorite things
17. Tell her your favorite things about her

   Honestly, I could go on but that would be weird haha. What I find weird is that all the things guys think are stupid and lame, girls LOVE. So guys, swallow your pride and just do it!

What I can't Be

   Yeah so.. I find myself thinking back to 7th and 8th grade.. I was that girl that never had her first kiss, never had a boyfriend. And my friends were all talking about it and I was that girl that would never do anything to hurt him. I would never cheat on him or anything and the thought of having a friend with benefits was icky and in 7th grade the thought of girls being attractive was weird. I never would have even thought I would become who I am.. If someone came up to me when I was like 4 and told me all the things I would have done and things that would have happened, I would have laughed at them or started to cry. I'm always thinking about who I used to be and who I am now. I have a constant feeling of wanting to change things that I can't change and that really is a burden to your life.
 
   Regret for me is my worst enemy. Almost every decision I make I look at what I did wrong rather than what I did right. It's so hard wanting to change your self but you can't. And if you try to look at that as an obstacle in life, you find yourself stuck. You find yourself with no way out.. Sometimes, I don't put on my glasses and look in the mirror. And I like it because I can't see the person in the mirror, that person that, everyday since 1st grade, I've fought against. Everyday, I fight a war against that person and everyday over and over again, they win. That person in the mirror represents everything I will never and cannot be..

The Time

There's a time to rest and a time to run,
   A time to move and a time to be still.
There's a time to laugh and a time to cry,
   A time to win and a time to loose.
There's a time to scream and a time to sob,
   A time to smile and a time to dance.
There's a time to hug and a time to be with others,
   A time to be alone and to be quiet.
There's a time to love and a time to hate,
   A time to party and a time to sleep.
There's a time to be completely yourself,
  And a time to act like everyone else.
There's a time to love others,
   And a time to let yourself be loved.
There's a time to forgive and a time to forget,
   A time to be broken and a time to pick up the pieces.
There's a time to fight for him and a time to let him go,
   A time for absolutely everything and a time for nothing at all.
There's a time to break down and let it all out,
   And a time to pretend like it's all ok.