Yeah so.. I find myself thinking back to 7th and 8th grade.. I was that girl that never had her first kiss, never had a boyfriend. And my friends were all talking about it and I was that girl that would never do anything to hurt him. I would never cheat on him or anything and the thought of having a friend with benefits was icky and in 7th grade the thought of girls being attractive was weird. I never would have even thought I would become who I am.. If someone came up to me when I was like 4 and told me all the things I would have done and things that would have happened, I would have laughed at them or started to cry. I'm always thinking about who I used to be and who I am now. I have a constant feeling of wanting to change things that I can't change and that really is a burden to your life.
Regret for me is my worst enemy. Almost every decision I make I look at what I did wrong rather than what I did right. It's so hard wanting to change your self but you can't. And if you try to look at that as an obstacle in life, you find yourself stuck. You find yourself with no way out.. Sometimes, I don't put on my glasses and look in the mirror. And I like it because I can't see the person in the mirror, that person that, everyday since 1st grade, I've fought against. Everyday, I fight a war against that person and everyday over and over again, they win. That person in the mirror represents everything I will never and cannot be..
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